‘’PULLING SOMEONE DOWN WILL NEVER HELP YOU REACH THE TOP’’
At least once a week we’re all gathered in the hall on a Monday morning when we’re half asleep and grateful for the opportunity to zone out and stare into space for a couple of minutes while one teacher tries to make us more aware of something that is happening at our school. It doesn’t just happen at our school it happens at other schools too. In fact it isn’t something that only takes place at school buildings during school hours; it happens all the time. And when it happens to you it’s hard to forget about. It stays with you. By now you probably know what I’m going on about. If not then you’re probably very lucky or you’re just lying to yourself.
We’ve all been bullied at some point and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. If you still think otherwise then read on. If your mind instantly thought of a time when you felt absolutely terrible because of something somebody else said or did then read on. Bullying is a problem that we shouldn’t shy away from talking -or in this case reading- about.
One of the biggest misconceptions about bullying is that it’s easy to spot. That’s a lie. It’s a lie because people aren’t always bullied by loners or people that feel bad about themselves who are easy to identify. Bullies can be confident and socially successful because bystanders can find their harsh words and cruel actions amusing. I know that because I’ve been a bystander before and it seems harmless when you aren’t the victim. I know a lot of people who enjoy watching others argue. I’ve seen my friends form circles around two people fighting because it interests them- they don’t always have the intention of breaking these fights up. How do we expect bullying to stop if we encourage bullies to hurt others for our own amusement?
Most of the time we’re bullied by our own friends. If you can’t relate to that then you’re a better judge of character than most. Under normal circumstances friends joke around and make fun of each other and it’s harmless until somebody gets hurt. Friends know each other very well. They know each other’s strengths, but more importantly, they know each other’s weaknesses. That’s why 99% of the time the most insulting things our ears hear come out of our friends’ mouths. Sometimes words come out wrong, other times you’re told you’re being oversensitive but that doesn’t matter. The damage is done and they can’t take their words back. We’ll forgive them because they’re our friends; if we stayed mad at every person who said or did something hurtful to us we wouldn’t have any friends left. We’ll probably have a similar conversation with them again and they’ll probably say something hurtful again but it’s just the way friendships work these days. But when do you decide that you’ve had enough? That’s up to you to decide. Our parents have all warned us about bad influences and fake friends- but that’s a different issue. Just try to stand up to them and let them know that you aren’t okay with it. If they’re good friends they’ll understand- again I’m going off topic.
As much as I’d love to write about every single type of bully out there and tell you a couple of stories that’ll make you feel better, I can’t do that for two reasons:
I’ll say this again: bullies are hard to identify. I wouldn’t be able to psychoanalyse them all and advise you on ways to deal with them if I tried.
I’m 100% convinced that the people at Cambridge are being bullies this year and I really need to study.
So I’ll leave you with the next best thing. You already know that bullying is NOT okay. You know that it’s wrong. You know that you don’t gain anything from hurting others. So watch what you say. It may not seem like it at the time, but your words can hurt. People won’t remember hurting you. Bystanders won’t remember watching you get hurt. But it’ll stay with you and that’s the harsh truth.
It’d be wrong to ask you to stand up for yourself if you don’t have the confidence to do it; we all deal with these things differently and that’s okay. You don’t have to keep it all bottled up either. Talking to someone can really help, it’s always useful to let it all out. Believe it or not, as cool as your bully claims to be and as scary as they may seem, there’s always someone scarier out there like a teacher or a friend or a parent that they’re very scared of. Reach out to someone, it’ll help. Don’t let the bullies get to you.
